Our 12-year-old son, Brian Crowell, was at a friend's house on Dec. 24, 1997. They had spent the day together, shopping at the mall for Christmas gifts, and ended the day at this friend's house playing video games. At 3:45 pm, our daughter called her brother to tell him to come home so that they could get ready for our traditional Christmas Eve celebration held at our home with our friends and family. I was scheduled to get out of work at 4:00.

While Brian was on the phone, his friend decided to show him the gun that he had recently discovered in his mother's room. This gun, we were told later, was in her possession for her own protection from an abusive ex-husband. He thought that he had removed all the bullets but one remained stuck in the barrel. He pulled back the hammer three times to hear the click, click, click. On the third click, the gun fired and hit Brian in the neck, just as he was hanging up the phone. His last words to his friend were "I can't believe you shot me!" Brian attempted to run from the room to get home but he only made it as far as the living room where he collapsed on the floor.

Brian was quickly taken to the hospital and I received a call at work telling me that there had been an accident and I should come to the hospital. My husband also received the same call and we met at the emergency room where we were told of the severity of his condition. The bullet had entered through his neck and torn him apart right down his chest. Although the doctors attempted to do surgery, we were told there was nothing more they could do for him and we were allowed to be with him as he died.

A part of us died that Christmas Eve, along with all 30 relatives and friends who had gathered at the hospital for the tragic ending to our beautiful son's life, instead of gathering at our home as we had done for so many years past.

We feel that we have been robbed. Brian robbed of his life, and we robbed of the happiness in watching our son grow up and do all the things we had hoped for our children: go to the prom, graduate high school, college, become productive adults and perhaps marry and have children of their own.

Yes we have 2 other children, a son, Mark, and a daughter, Dianna. We are thankful for them and we are happy for their achievements. They too have gone through a lot in coping with the loss of their brother. Although we can laugh and appear to be having a good time, our sorrow is always there. We miss our beloved Brian and our lives will never be the same.